Fight The Bears

A shamefully long overdue rant about men in women's spaces

(I don't care about the arguments surrounding this image. Its still what spurred me to take notice)

I sat down the other day to write about guys in women's sports and I got several paragraphs in when I realized a few things.

1. I knew basically nothing about this topic

2. I hadn't cared until I saw it in a combat sport

3. I was actually angry about something else entirely

I'm not mad at transformers for muscling their way in, I'm mad at men for letting it happen.

“We failed women”

I abandoned my original draft because I posted a Note stating that opinion and some of the push back from dudes made me stop and think. They pointed out how it's not our fault and listed their reasons why. Some even gave me links to full articles with well reasoned explanations as to why men weren't to blame here. It really made me slow down and think through this.

The more I thought, the angrier I became. The more I considered their “reasons”, the more I wanted to fight about it. The more I attempted to see it from their point of view the more disgusted I became.

I came here to fight guys over this topic yet now find myself squaring up not with the ones who want to be ladies but rather those calling themselves “men”.

Fuck you and your mewling bitch-ass excuses. I felt a little more poisoned each time I read some dude yell over his shoulder “it's not our fault!” as he fled from the topic that's become a bear. Since y'all don't want to fight it I'm going to fight you before I move on to the Grizzly.

It's our fault that it's come to this. It's men’s fault that there are dudes in women's sports, bathrooms and even jails now (though I promise you those guys will regret lobbying to get into a women's joint, them girls are wild).

Shut the fuck up with your selective outrage. You fellas clapped like autistic seals for my feminist rant so you're in this with me now. Everyone gets mugged eventually on my page.

(However, actual bitchy feminists are going to want to leave the room for this next part. I know you're excited I'm being harsh towards guys but you're not gonna like how I'm about to go about it)

Everyone settled? Let's begin.

“wOMeN aRE actUaLLy tHe oNEs whO FoUGht fOR thiS!”

Did you just say to me “they got what they deserved”? I understand that you think that statement absolves you of any and all guilt in this matter but all I heard is that you just did what the shrill woman told you to do. Yeah, women have to answer for their bullshit but I'm gonna leave that to other women for now. I'll fight mine, y'all need to fight yours.

My point is that we should have never allowed it in the first place. We've gotten weak. Literally all we had to do was say No. Its our job to protect them, even from their own bad choices, and we failed. We've become so limp wristed that we allowed the people in this movement to shout us down and force us to back away.

“They're the ones who fought for this”. Fucking cowards. Do you have daughters? That question alone should've given you a gut knot but I don't think the ones making excuses are cut that way. So let me hit it another way. Trans-women (born a fella) straight ran you over to get laws and privileges in these once exclusively female spaces because they wanted to get in more than you wanted to keep them out.

They fought better and guys shrugged simply because there were women voices supporting it. All we had to do was say No. That's literally it.

“thE iNsTiTuTiONs ArE aLL aGAinSt us!”

Brah….. we are the institutions. I get there's a lot of girl power going around but dudes still run things. If you didn't know that then it's because you're one of the ones who doesn't and just does what he's told.

What's that!? You want an example random voice in the back of the room?! Okay!

Over the years I developed a habit where I'd block the doorway to a public bathroom whenever one of my younger daughters went in to use it. All restrooms were private ones when one of my girls had to go. I couldn't help who may have already been in there but I sure as Hell could keep others from going in.

This had nothing to do with any trans movement, it applied to absolutely everyone.

Most times I'd bullshit and lie when people approached with a raised hand saying, “I'm afraid you have to wait a moment, there's a guy in there fixing a pretty bad leak” or something to that effect and then I'd just walk away the moment my girl came out. Oftentimes to confused or angry stares but what do I care about a strange person's irritation towards me?

Other times it played out much differently. Other times the person I'm blocking saw my daughter enter and then how I filled the entryway. Those are the examples that matter. That's when I had to stand there and hold my ground while being objectively wrong according to literally everyone around me.

However, I came from a place full of rapists. Being “wrong” wasn't enough reason for me to move. I'm fine being wrong in your eyes.

I've blocked a Walmart bathroom while customers and employees yelled and attempted to argue while some cart driving mushroom built nag threatened to call the police while her front butt spilled out over her pajama pants.

No.

I never argued nor did I owe an explanation. The answer was simply “No” and that was the end of it. I didn't stand there and open the floor to hear the reasoning of the disgruntled people around me. It didn't matter because the result was the same no matter what. No one is going in until she (or they) came out.

Anyone who didn't like it had the option to kill me because that's what it would've taken to enter that space with my daughter. I wanted to keep people out far far more than they wanted to go in and I was perfectly comfortable with any consequences that accompanied that position.

My girls are old enough I haven't had to do that for some years now however my granddaughter is 2 and it won't be much longer before I'm doing it again.

I know it's not an exact correlation however it's the example I've got and it's close enough to call it soup.

The point is that it doesn't matter that they pushed for this, it doesn't matter that there were/are consequences for standing up to it. If it were easy, it wouldn't require men to deal with it. Guys are punching women in the face and dudes are like, “y'all should've stood up for yourself, ha ha!”

Those of you saying that are punks and cowards and basic bitches. A guy stating “it's their problem to deal with” is the same kind of dude who sits to pee, drives while gripping the bottom of the steering wheel and tweezers his eyebrows while making little “ouchy” expressions in the mirror.

Y'all can give me every excuse available about how this isn't our fault but they all really mean, “it's too hard”. I don't give a shit about how mean people can be or about societal consequences or any other bullshit you come up with. Just say you can't handle getting punched in the face and get out of the way. Quit hovering like you give a shit. You don't. You care about you and that's where it ends. So fuck off so those of us who are left can actually be about something without your useless background noise.

It's insane that we're in this position. It's not like we needed to win something to prevent this, we just had to not move. It was already good and we allowed it to be corrupted.

A bunch of you are going to hop into the comments section putting “we” into quotes. Yes, I'm referencing men as a whole in this. It's easier than naming all of us individually in each paragraph. If you've got your chest and neck out already, then I'm obviously not talking to you. For everyone else, shut up before you even start. We get it, you complained about it on Facebook and Zuck took your post down. You're clearly a resistance fighter under John Connor himself.

The fact of the matter is that, though I say “we” as a whole, I'm actually looking at us on an individual level. When I say, “how did men let this happen?” I'm not talking about congressmen and no one else. I look at each individual woman suffering and wonder where's her father, her brothers, her boyfriend, her husband, a random fucking stranger who's walking by? Why isn't a man stopping this?

We, on an individual level, have to step in and stop things when we see them. Especially when it's one of your own. Yes, you may suffer consequences, but if you're not going to get in there and take the hit, who will? We didn't used to be afraid of such goofy things as scorn.

“sHE mAde a ChoiCE”

That's the same logic that makes a cowardly man look at a woman's black eye and think, “well, she married him”.

“thEy FaILed tHemSelVes”

Do you weak chin dudes really think our responsibility towards women only applies when they beg for it? Look at yourself as an individual. You never walked into something you didn't understand or take the wrong side because you simply couldn't recognize the potential outcomes? It's a rhetorical question so don't burn up your data writing a 1,200 word reply about how you never made such mistakes. No one believes you nor do we care even if we did.

Plus, women get a pass here from you Great Value manhood knockoff dorks. They feel more deeply than we do, they experience sympathy and empathy on a level that would turn us all schizophrenic. They're supposed to take the side of whoever appears to be wounded, neglected, targeted or hated. That's one of the things that makes them amazing. They care in a way that doesn't even make sense to us.

So yes, they did take the side of a group they were shown as being harmed. Women even took this position when it was clear it cut against their own interest. That's because they're women! They sacrifice themselves constantly. What is motherhood if not a perpetual state of personal sacrifice? It's in their wiring.

Men are great at racing to fight a grizzly bear with a pointy stick just as a woman can shield her whole family from that same bear with her own body. Yes, women got tricked, but the trick only worked because it preyed upon one of their best qualities. So you fellas are gonna shut TF up about that now. It's happened, let's move on.

Everyone is so busy passing the blame around that nothing changes. “Not it!” Where it was once the case that all we had to do to prevent this was to simply say “No” and refuse to move, that advantage now belongs to those taking advantage. It's no longer enough to stop them at the bathroom entrance, we have to go in and drag them out and that's a hell of a lot more difficult. But that's our fault for letting them get past us in the first place. We knew better and we did nothing.

All talk, no action.

Now don't get me bent, this ain't an anti-trans rant. If you're looking for haternation recruits, I ain't your boy. I don't really care if you're a transformer and live your life like you're the other sex. In my years I've known some damn decent crossdressing dudes. Of course, that was largely in the penitentiary and I'll say those Sissy's are mostly a cut above the ones that are making noise out here.

That said, I'm a big believer in “Do you”. However, if you decide that “doing you” means you're entitled to cross my path, by definition I will be in your way. I promise I want that spot more than you do.

Quit having civil debates about things that aren't up for debate. You're not being open minded, you're being a doormat that allows the bullshit on people's shoes to get wiped off on you. I do not have to consider your point of view, I do not owe you space in my thoughts or time for you to express yours.

Now here come the fake Alpha Males who are going to dodge this any way they can by passing the buck because (insert pointless self serving justifications). I've read your complaints, they're all whining about masculinity while advocating for doing the least masculine thing.

“tHEy bEraTe ANd BeliTtlE uS”

Oh, my bad dog, was a woman mean to you when you spoke up? Were you unfairly treated? Is there someone available to hug the pain away? Do you need a space to cry in? I feel just awful that you had to endure pushback over doing and saying the right thing, that must be very PTSD-ing for you. You know who ain't scared of the fight? The people pushing to be in women's spaces, they ain't scared. Maybe I should be speaking to them after all since they practice that masculine quality better than you do.

I don't care about the weak excuses, cop-outs, justifications and general responsibility dodging I see people word vomiting on this topic. The fact is that there's a fucking bear threatening women and we need to get out pointy fucking sticks out right now.

“hERe cOMes AnoThER wHiTe kNIghT”

Capt Savaho son and you're god-damn right I am. A fella can be a chic all he wants and I'll tell ya if the dress looks good on you. That said, I'm not going to toss women under a bus on your behalf. You got me bent, I'm built to fight men and you're built like a man regardless of how you live your life. You deserve to be fucking fabulous until you make me choose between what's good for you vs what's good for them. At which time, I become what's bad for you.

I'll fight transvestites, weak ass guys and even ladies who act against their own interests to maintain what's obviously correct. Men have forgotten that one of our roles is to be the necessary villain when times call for a thing to be done that absolutely no one wants to do.

“tHAt aIn’T fAir”

So what? If everything was fair, half of our wiring would be unnecessary. GUYS ARE PUNCHING WOMEN IN THE FACE! It no longer matters how we got here, deal with it. Individually, we have to step up where we are. Where it affects your wives, your sisters, your mother's, your daughters and even a random stranger where you see her in distress, fight the god-damn bear.

It doesn't matter if you think it's her fault. The fact is we have the option to act or watch her get mauled. If that's too much for you then just keep your mouth shut about it because your retreat is just making it harder for others to maintain their courage.

If none of this applies to you, I'm absolutely not talking to you. If you think for even a second I might be referencing you, I absolutely am. Your hurt feelings are the point. What you think is righteous anger in your chest is actually personal shame. Once you see that then we can get down to the real work that needs done.

I'm not going to validate your bullshit in the replies either. Bark into the void nerds. (That's assuming I don't just delete it for giggles)

We're all going to get scars from this no matter how it plays out. The difference is some of us will have those scars in the front instead of on our backs.

I may be late to the fight but I've got my bear stabbing stick out now.

Let's fucking goooooooo!