Seems like my 'ghost' was always saying things like "You just started something you can't finish. Again." or "Here it comes. This is really gonna hurt."
Not a particularly useful guy now that I think about it.
For me, that would work really well in a book length work, where the action was interspersed with … well, it depends on the type of book. I love to read mystery/suspense fiction by Robert Parker and John D. MacDonald. You have the skills, smarts, and moral code to be a Spenser or Travis McGee, and thus can be convincingly realistic.
But now I’m curious. I like reading the above authors despite (because of?) my sheltered life. Your life has been anything but sheltered; what, if any, fiction do *you* read for pleasure?
It amazes me how I can continue to read something so violent when I’m the same person who turns away from the tv when my husband and I are watching something similarly brutal.
Yeah, I heard some dumbass on a NYC subway pulled a gun, waved it around scaring everybody, got it taken away and got shot in the head with his own gun.
Seems like my 'ghost' was always saying things like "You just started something you can't finish. Again." or "Here it comes. This is really gonna hurt."
Not a particularly useful guy now that I think about it.
Love the ending. Payback’s a MFer.
For me, that would work really well in a book length work, where the action was interspersed with … well, it depends on the type of book. I love to read mystery/suspense fiction by Robert Parker and John D. MacDonald. You have the skills, smarts, and moral code to be a Spenser or Travis McGee, and thus can be convincingly realistic.
But now I’m curious. I like reading the above authors despite (because of?) my sheltered life. Your life has been anything but sheltered; what, if any, fiction do *you* read for pleasure?
Well written sir.
Wow that was a vivid rush. Second by second, drawn into the intensity. Damn good read.
Thanks for my 82 year old adrenaline rush this morning while I’m still in bed reading. Time to get up and shave.
My heart was pounding as I read this.
It amazes me how I can continue to read something so violent when I’m the same person who turns away from the tv when my husband and I are watching something similarly brutal.
Glad you won that encounter.
We would have lost a good writer, and never known it, if you weren't good at fighting, too.
No second chances in that kind of fight.
Also glad I have never been in one of them.
This is a compelling story. I got physically more tense with each section.
You seem like a natural writer - if your goal is a novel I won't be surprised to see you achieve that soon
This would make a fantastic ballet set in a prison yard. And the music would have to be monumental.
The last part 🎯💯🎯
No way - you gotta finish the story! At least give us a view of his bloodied body as you leave the laundry room.
Love the slo mo replay - exactly what it feels like and how you remember it when the adrenaline takes over and your life depends on it. Well done.
This is very well written! Bravo!!!
This is an overused descriptor, but it applies perfectly here: visceral.
Yeah, I heard some dumbass on a NYC subway pulled a gun, waved it around scaring everybody, got it taken away and got shot in the head with his own gun.